Well, things just keep getting worse. It's my fault I know.

For some reason I'm freaking out about having to go to work. 1-2 weeks ago it was fine, now it's the most terrifying thing you could ask me to do. I don't know why, and I really want to quit. It's stressing me out, which in turn is causing me to binge/purge, which is making me feel fat, which makes me feel stressed and so it goes on in a big circle. Yay.

Last night I cried. I can't remember the last time I cried. I always feel awful because other people will be upset and crying at times, but I'm not because I don't feel that upset. I cried because I am fat. And I didn't think I would make my goal by Monday. Other people cry over vaguely sensible things. Normal things. But I am fat. I have gained weight. I have to lose 2 kgs (4.4lbs) in 3 days to be at my goal. I will make it. I will I will I will.