Another Post!

Two posts in one day, it must be a miracle.

Anyway, here's what happened today:
I bought new school shoes and I bought my own groceries. Why are these things important?
Let me explain.
Ok, shoes. My school has a strict uniform policy and we have to wear black lace up shoes. So today I went and bought some. Then I just spent the last hour "wearing them in" or in my opinion trying to burn calories. I already went for a 50 minute walk today, now another hour and I still have my regular exercise to do tonight. Today is going well.
Buying my own groceries is another good thing. Most of the time I avoid buying food because it's a waste of my money and time, but today I bought things I can actually eat. Last night I wrote down all the foods I absolutely CANNOT eat. After eliminating whole food groups (Meat, Dairy and Eggs.) I had another 37 foods listed. So My groceries were; 2 bags of rice cakes (one plain, one salt+vinegar), 1 packet of multigrain crackers, 1 jar of Promite (sweet version of Vegemite), 1 big bag of dried dates (my equivalent of candy) and 1 bag of grapes. I also bought a food diary and some school stationary.

On another note, I'm obsessed with cooking. I cook all the foods I can't eat. People think I'm just being nice, cooking them meals, full of nasty fried foods and eggs and sugar. But I'm not, I'm cooking it because that way I can do something that involves food but doesn't involve eating. Tomorrow I'm going to bake a fudge for my work. It has 4 (!!) eggs and 3.5 Cups of sugar (again, !!!). The only problem with cooking is I hate, hate, hate the smell of food. It scares me that I might be breathing in calories. The smell has to come from somewhere, which means little food particles floating around in the air. I avoid the kitchen when foods are cooking, or hold my breathe, walk away take a breathe where there isn't any smell take a breathe and come back and hold my breathe again. Once we were bringing pizza home (not my idea of fun.) and I sat in the car and stuck my head out the window. My father thought I was just being silly, but I was so frigging scared.

Another thing, I no longer keep in much contact with my friends because they can't come over because that would mean I have to actually eat something, and I can't exercise in front of them, or weigh myself in the morning, so that throws my whole day out of whack.

Ok, I also need some advice. In three weeks I go back to school. On Fridays I am going to go to bible study straight after school. The problem is they provide us with afternoon tea and then dinner, and I can't eat their food because it's full of forbidden foods. The only problem is that if I take my own foods, I don't want people getting too concerned that I'm not eating enough or trying to "talk to me" about my problems. I would maybe take dehydrated soup mixes with me, but they all have dairy in them which sucks. If I need to eat I would feel comfortable eating 2 dried dates, 2 prunes, 2 dried apricots and 2 crackers, but I'm afraid that would get too much attention. I would maybe be able to manage a tea/coffee as well. Maybe I could say the coffee/tea filled me up. I don't know. Maybe if I say I'm vegan and I'd prefer to provide my own food, it'll be ok. Any advice would be excellent.

Take Care

-Kit