Today as I was wondering what to blog about, I thought I didn't want to write another post with a lot of questions like my last. But what happens? I think up some things that are questions that I want to share with you all. So here it is:
When does having body fat make someone fat or overweight? Is there even a difference between having fat and being fat?
Here are some definitions I found:
Fat: having an (over)abundance of flesh.
Fatness: Having excess body weight.
Okay so if we go with the first definition, who decides what is an abundance/over-abundance of flesh? If we go by what we see in models and actors, then the majority of the population is fat. If we go with doctors, then what 20% or so of most countries populations are.
If it were up to me, yes I would say I AM fat. Although if anyone else asked me if I thought they were fat, I would say no. I don't know anyone who is fat, although in reality I know that I am thinner than some people I know. So logically I know that I shouldn't be trying to lose weight, yet here I am. I think that my logic is that I don't want to have ANY fat on my body. And I believe this is the case for most Eating Disordered People. For me, having any fat on my body is unacceptable, therefore making me worthless. But again, what makes it so unacceptable for me to have any body fat, while people I know are allowed more? Again I think it is my natural perfectionist behavior and competitiveness. Although I know this is unhealthy, it is my life and I'm quite content with it.
Again today I have answered my own questions, but I hope it makes you think.
Back from my philosophizing, today was my first day back at school. I fucking failed. School=stress=binging. I hate this. My usual school diet is breakfast=apple or a slice of toast, no lunch and a veggie burger for dinner. But being unused to my school diet after three weeks on holidays and being mega stressed as I returned to school, it wasn't that I felt hungry when reaching home. Which is what makes me feel even worse. As my exchange student arrives tomorrow, it will probably mean bigger dinners and fun stuff like that. Oh joy. Although I am starting Nutrition in my Home Economics class this semester, which is going to be fun =). And my exchange student is here for a week, which is alright and manageable.
Oh another thing! I love my new stockings! They're 140 denier (The thickest stockings can go), so they're pretty much like tights. And they're control stockings which I love! (Control means that they come up over your stomach.) As they're control stockings and quiet tight I feel like they're holding me in and it makes me feel insanely thinner and more toned. If you don't own a good pair I'd recommend getting a pair, they're now one of my most favorite possession.
Anyway, I'm not sure how I'll go posting over the next week as I'll be mega busy.
Hope you guys all have fun!
Take care
-Kit
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